Thanks to Allison for this topic!
Our prevailing sexual attitudes here in the United States can be traced to the early North American settlers. No, not the original settlers... the Europeans that took over staring around the 1600's. To sum up their attitude- it was all about the dudes.
As Allison pointed out in her question, the early settlers used religion to justify a misogynist attitude where women were clearly second class. By most accounts I'm aware of, women's sexuality was vilified. As Allison also pointed out, this is probably why promiscuous women are branded with the moniker of "slutty." Promiscuous guys have no such negative moniker.
Allison asked of we should rework our framework of sexuality to exclude religion. I believe we should as long as A) religion views sexuality as something negative, and B) religion enforces an explicit or implicit gender divide.
Not all religions consider sexuality to be a bad thing. Some world religions, including many sects of Christianity, embrace sexuality, even in women. I believe the problem stems from the moral judgements some religion seems to be fond of making. Because of this, I'd prefer to view sexuality as an entirely separate entity.
I'd propose sex be viewed as a recreational activity. It's something to be enjoyed, just like volleyball or the opera. There should be no gender differences... we should embrace male and female (and the variants between those designations) with enthusiasm. After all, sex is the most fun you can have without smiling. ;-)
Of course, I'm not going to change society. I can change my own behaviors, though. I can start by refusing to pass judgement on others for their sexual practices. If a dude wants to have lots of sex, so be it. If a woman wants to do the same, cool! Sex is a ton of fun... there's absolutely no reason anyone shouldn't fully explore all their body (and others) have to offer without fear of judgement from a pious few.
Sidebar- in psychology, we know those that have the strongest attitudes toward anything tend to hold those attitudes as a defense mechanism against their own feelings. For example, those that most decry others for their sexual exploits usually have some pretty kinky-ass shit hiding in their closet. Remember that the next time you hear someone loudly chastising the sexual exploits of others. ;-)
For discussion- how can we as a society help support female sexuality in the face of patriarchal oppression?
Feel free to go off on a tangent with this one. ;-)