Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Confessions of a Female Swinger: An Introduction to the Series

As I've mentioned before, I'm close to releasing my fourth book tentatively titled "Curing Sexual Boredom." Jeff and Nicole, one of the couples I discuss, are swingers. I've been bugging them to guest-write a series of posts here at The Sexpressionists blog, but they doubted anyone would be interested in their story. After convincing them with the traffic data here on the site (my posts about threesomes, mismatched sex drives,  and consensual nonmonogamy have been exceedingly popular), Nicole finally relented. Over the next few weeks, I'm going to give her an open forum to write about her experiences, give advice, and answer any reader questions. As I mention in the book, these are not their real names. Using their real names would immediately out them to my circle of social media friends, and they're currently "closeted" due to both of their occupations. Without further ado, I present Nicole:

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Confessions of a Female Swinger


I’m a wife, a mother, I have a white collar job, my kids play sports, I enjoy swimming and I’m a swinger. It’s still a complete mind fuck to say that out loud. Or in this case, type…but it’s true. My hope and goal by writing this blog is to entertain, have people question their own ideas about how we view our relationships, and ultimately grow. Your life is not my life, your circumstances and choices will be different than my circumstances and choices. I hope we can learn from each other through this series of blog posts. If you’re an open minded individual it might plant the seeds for something that fits into your lifestyle today or some day in the future.

Swinging, or “the lifestyle” as it’s also referred to, is not a bunch of bell bottomed, pot smoking twenty-somethings sharing free love to anyone and everyone, but much, much more. For me, it’s been a very eye-opening experience. I've learned countless things about myself sexually and learned more about all my relationships than I imagined I would.

This will be an multi-post series about my own personal experiences with swinging and why it works for us as a couple. I believe it's important to give the female perspective. It's easy to see why guys would want to choose swinging:

Fuck all the ladies you want and your spouse is ok with it? Hell yeah! 

It's a little more complicated from the female perspective, I think. 

Some of the upcoming blog posts will feature the following topics:
  • How and why I personally chose the lifestyle, and why we as a couple chose the lifestyle.
  • How swinging positively changed my views on my sexuality and body perception.
  • How to navigate the "You let your husband fuck other women and you're not jealous?!?" issues.
  • What happens when you're faced with a tiny penis? Yes, there is a point when size matters.
  • What do you do if the chemistry isn't there for one partner but it's there for the other?
  • What's it like to go on a couple's date knowing you might potentially fuck these people?

These are just a few of the topics I'd like to cover. If there are any other topics you as a reader would like me to discuss, leave suggestions in the comments below! Jason assured me all comments can be left anonymously. No topic is off-limits, so ask away!

Part Two


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4 comments:

  1. I love ths topic, thank you for writing these Nicole. This has been a secret fantasy of mine for a number of years, but I have no idea how to bring it up with my hsband. Any advice?

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    1. Thank you. Talking to your significant other is tricky because this could potentially upsetting. I'll make an entire post out of this question because there are a lot of issues to consider.

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  2. What are the parameters of your "swinging"? Do you and your husband always swing together? Are either of you free to have sex with any other person at any time whether you are with your spouse or not? What sort frequency do you engage with other partners vs. how often do you have sex with your spouse?

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    1. These are excellent questions that hit at the heart of the swinging experience. I'm happy somebody asked about the details. Like the above question, I'll answer all of these in a separate post.

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