Tuesday, June 10, 2014

I Hate Feminists


a person who supports feminism.

of, relating to, or supporting feminism.

Okay, I don't really hate feminism. I DO, however, hate two elements of gender discussions that come up repeatedly. 

First, I hate the false dichotomy presented by most when discussing sex and gender issues. Gender issues are rarely framed as actual gender issues (masculinity and femininity behaviors.) Instead, they're framed as biological sex issues (penis or vagina.) 

The fundamental problem with this is biological sex is not a discrete dichotomy. There are a lot of shades of intersexed gray ranging from babies born with ambiguous genitalia, hermaphrodites (someone with both gonads and ovaries), transgender and transsexual folks, and a whole host of genetic variations other than XX or XY. All of these groups, along with others not mentioned, are rarely if ever part of the discussion. The mainstream feminist and masculinist "movements" largely ignore these groups even though they make up 1-2% or more of the population. If we're having a discussion about rights, it has to be all-inclusive. 

Second, I hate the systematic destruction of feminine and masculine behaviors. As it is interpreted by many, the gender equality movement seeks to erase gender-defining characteristics to make us more "equal." While the intentions are noble, this move toward undifferentated gender is destroying our personal freedom to engage in masculine of feminine behaviors.

I have a working theory that many of the problems we face as a society today, from our crazy drive toward materialism to our expanding waistlines, is mostly due to chronic unhappiness in our interpersonal relationships. By forcing women to be more like men and men more like women, we're killing off the edginess of our relationships. We're losing the dynamic that fuels electrochemical passion. 

This move toward undifferentiated gender is understandable because it's easy to associate the paternalistic and misogynistic history of humanity with the expression of masculine and feminine characteristics. After all, the aggressive domination of masculinity surely causes the passive femininity to cower in fear. 

What if this isn't the case, though? What if it is possible to openly play with masculine and feminine behaviors while still remaining sociopolitical equals? We're creating barriers (restricting gender expression) to supposedly allow more freedoms (more sociopolitical equality.) Creating barriers never creates more freedoms, though. Instead of insisting on androgyny, maybe we need to identify the very specific behaviors that cause inequality. Masculinity isn't the problem. Femininity isn't the problem. Specific people engaging in douchey superiority complex-fueled behaviors is the problem. Or specific people that are not willing to demand sociopolitical equality. 

Let's start a new trend. Begin thinking of everyone as equal regardless of gender, sex, or any variation and combination of both. Let's also give them the freedom to express themselves however they see fit as long as they are not infringing on the rights of others. If there are injustices, identify the source of the injustice without overgeneralizations, then act to eliminate the injustice. Fight inequality without destroying freedom.

What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments section. 



  1. Woo Hoo! Some intelligent discussion on this topic would be a nice change of pace. Nice post!

    1. Ken, the problem, of course, is the vast majority of men or women cannot fathom that a person can exhibit masculine or feminine characteristics without falling into a misogynist trap.

      And we're completely ignorant on the variations of sex and gender.