Thursday, August 22, 2013

Is My Partner Kinky? A Method to Assess Your Sexual Partner's Willingness to Engage in Sexual Activites

Here's the situation- you want to try something in the bedroom, but you're not sure if your partner will be up for it. In a perfect world, you could simply ask them. Unfortunately, relationships rarely follow the "perfect world" ideal. We worry about our significant other's reaction. 

Will they be upset? Will they feel threatened? Hurt? Embarrassed? Will they think we're sick perverts? Will they be so offended they decide to leave us?

All are legitimate fears. 

Since it's unlikely all of us will go through the steps to assure we have a perfect relationship where we feel absolutely safe to express ourselves openly and honestly, there are "shortcuts."

When it comes to kinky sexual activities and determining our partner's willingness to partake, one great tool is what's known in psychology circles as a consensus scale. It works like this:

  1. You're given a list of items (in this case, sexual activities.)
  2. You rank each one using a five point scale to be discussed in a moment.
  3. You then discuss the answers with your significant other.
The five point scale is designed to assess agreeableness to activities, or how open you are to trying stuff. By rating agreeableness, you can then see how each other feels about any given activity.

In short, you'll know exactly what's on and off the table. 

So the scale: For each activity, there are five possible choices:

  • 5 - I would LOVE this and would jump at the opportunity to do it!
  • 4 - I think I would like this and want to give it a try.
  • 3 - I'm not sure how I feel about this but would like to discuss it.
  • 2 - I'm pretty sure I would dislike this but may be willing to give it a try at least once.
  • 1 - I do not want to do this activity.
For the list of activities, I would recommend making your own. I Googled "list of sexual activities" and found a few very good lists, including this one from, this list from, and this list from If you really want to push their boundary (or make other items on the list seem more "normal") add items from this list

Want an easier option? I'm in the process of compiling a list via Google Docs that's set up for this specific purpose. All you have to do is print out two copies, then each take the inventory. It can be found here:

The list isn't entirely comprehensive, so I could use some help. Look over the list. If there's something I should add, leave a comment on THIS post. It can be general or specific. I'll add it to the list ASAP. 

Have fun with it!


Friday, August 9, 2013

The Sex Robots Were Great Until They Became Clingy Psycho Stalkers

courtesy Huntington Post

Warning- lots of nonsense in this post. Read at your own peril. ;-)

Earlier today, I re-posted this article on Facebook:

The article was satire, but still funny. And intriguing. As technology develops, we'll inevitably come to the point of producing machines that can closely approximate humans.

And in all likelihood, we'll use those machines for sex. Isn't that what electronic vibrating devices, motion pictures, telephones, the VHS cassette, and the Internet taught us- we'll adapt technology to use for sexual purposes?

Contrary to popular belief, capitalism doesn't drive technological advancement. The desire to have better and/or more sex drives technological development. 

So the sex robots- how close are we? As it turns out, the Japanese are leading the way:

This idea brings up some interesting questions. Some may harp on the morality of the whole issue, which I personally believe is dumb. What you do in the privacy of your own bedroom blah, blah, blah. A sex robot isn't going to precipitate the downfall of society. I'm more interested in more likely issues, such as:

  • Would it be more economical to own, or would a lease-with-option-to-buy be more realistic? [this topic was discussed in the last "morality" article linked above]
  • If you're married, would it be considered a threesome? Or cheating if one spouse wasn't involved?
  • If you're single, how would you introduce the FuckBot 3000 to potential mates?
  • Would the State of California figure out a way to tax you for every sexual act?
  • Would you fall in love with your robot? Personally I doubt this would happen in the absence of pheromones, but  suppose those could be released by the robot.
  • Would the robot fall in love with you, ala the original linked article?
  • Would the robot eventually start nagging you for dumb shit?
  • Would this be mostly a male phenomenon, or would females also be interested in the robot? Am I sexist for assuming that? Worse, am I THAT out of touch with what's really going through women's heads?
  • Will we end up like this dude?
What do you think? Would you buy a sex robot? How would any of these issues be resolved? Share your thoughts and opinions in the comments section!