Thursday, January 10, 2013

We Need to Ban Porn!

A meme pic is far cooler than stock photography!

Surprising opinion, huh?

Bet you didn't see that one coming. :-)

Okay, here's the real opinion- we need to ban bad porn. 

What constitutes bad porn? 

Bad porn is any pornographic material that depicts unrealistic situations, bad techniques, or misrepresents actual human desires. In short, it teaches people to have bad sex. I'd confidently say 98% of all pornography found on the Interwebz could be classified as bad porn. What exactly am I talking about? Here's a rundown of some things we see in porn that contribute to this problem:
  • The body image myth: Most dudes are ripped, most females are thin with huge-ass breasts. The depiction isn't necessarily bad, but the implication that these characteristics are generalized to everyone makes us feel like we're weird if we have different tastes. Some women don't like bodybuilders. Some dudes are ass men. What we actually like and what we think we should like are often not in sync, and porn doesn't help.
  • The erection myth: Dudes in porn instantly have erections that last forever. That's pretty accurate... if you're a 15 year old boy. We don't see the Cialis and fluffers. This sets up the expectation that men don't need foreplay to get aroused. Sometimes a helping hand is appreciated.
  • The lubrication myth: The same deal holds true for women. Vaginal lubrication, while a function of arousal, isn't automatic. Porn actors use a lot of lube, which they never depict on-camera.
  • Erogenous zone myth: According to most porn, women have two erogenous zones. Men have one. Porn ignores the fact that our entire body is an erogenous zone, and all of us have our own favorites.
  • Penis size myth: Yes, size does matter to most women. Yes, it's rarely a make-it-or-break-it issue in relationships. And yes, there is a point of diminishing returns with size. Porn gives us a very skewed perception on penis size (5 3/4" is roughly average), which is tough on the ego of any guy that doesn't have the last name "Diggler."
  • Frequency of activity myth: Porn usually follows a pretty strict set of activities: touching genitals, licking and sucking nipples, a little oral, vaginal sex until the dude ejaculates. Sometimes anal is thrown in. In reality, sexual activity is much more dynamic. Some of these elements may be present some of the time, but most of us have our own preferred set of scripts we follow. If we follow the porn script, we soon get bored.
  • Technique myth: Porn is filled with atrocious techniques. Why? part of it is probably due to cinematography. Gotta get the right angles and lighting can be a bitch. Still, every technique from massaging to oral sex to thrusting is often really, really bad. Not only are the techniques bad, but there's never any communication between partners on what each actually enjoys. For me, this is the deal-breaker. THIS is the reason I'd support a ban on bad porn. If you learned your sexual skills from porn, you'd be a really bad lover.
So there you have it- a rationale for banning bad porn. That DOES bring up a good question- is there good porn?

Actually, yes. There is. It almost always comes from two sources: female directors of professional porn and amateur porn. Both genres break down many of these myths. Both genres either depict real people having real sex or set up a scenario that accurately simulates real sex between real people. Or give the written word a try. Flexing your imagination muscles is always a good thing.

If you're going to be a consumer of porn, at least support good porn. ;-)

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4 comments:

  1. If you a apply the same criteria, we should probably ban most of what is produced by the entertainment industry. It tends to present whatever subject matter unrealistically, using unlikely scenarios, and often results in people having unrealistic expectations and ideas. Shall we start with romantic comedies?

    Hmmm, Now that I think about it. It would be great to apply your basic criteria for porn to the rest of the entertainment industry!

    Regarding porn, all the porn I've seen was so lame and silly, I usually just started making fun of it, and then I just got board and turned it off. Now that you claim that there really is good porn, I feel compelled to verify that claim. Damn it, there goes my weekend.

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  2. I recently started a post about needing to ban movies that represent crappy relationships as the norm. "Is This 40?" is the saddest movie I've seen in a very, very long time.

    And stick to the "amateur" categories... it's where the best stuff can be found. ;-)

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  3. As soon as you say "ban" you lose credibility. We may need to overwhelm bad porn with good porn, but banning art is always worse than the art itself can be.

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  4. Porn Movies or sex films are films that depict sexual fantasies and seek to create in the viewer sexual arousal and erotic satisfaction. Such films usually include erotically stimulating material such as nudity and the explicit portrayal of sexual activity. The industry generally refers to such films as adult films, which generally fall into a number of sub-genres

    ReplyDelete