I have a friend of a friend on Facebook who recently asked "Why can't I find a good woman?!?" Naturally, fifty people jumped in to offer advice. The one bit of advice that continually popped up was something along the lines of...
"Just be yourself. The right girl will come along."
Pretty good advice right? The problem? This dude is a serious loser. I don't normally judge people's lives so harshly, but this is warranted. The dude is overweight, unemployed, has terrible grooming habits, and dresses like a mannequin in a thrift store. Worse, pretty much every Facebook status he posts is some sort of pity-inducing whining. So...
I seriously question if his so-called "friends" really understand their attempts to prop up his self-esteem are creating a situation where he's taking zero responsibility to improve himself. He doesn't get dates because he's kind of repulsive. Better advice might be "Shave, bathe, buy some matching clothes, get a job, and learn to smile on occasion."
The lesson: Don't tell people to "be themselves" when they suck.
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