Get Your Shit Together, Ladies!!!

• Fat shaming
• Slut shaming
• Bitch shaming
• Skinny shaming
• Boob shaming
• Successful career shaming
• Hairstyle shaming
• Bisexual shaming
• "You don't wear designer labels" shaming
• Niche hobby shaming
• Mommy shaming

Over the last few months, I've come across articles, all written by women, about all of the "shaming" topics listed above. Each article more or less followed the same formula: start with an intro, talk about how shaming behaviors are oppressing women, a rationale why women need to stop that specific shaming behavior, (then the kicker) a paragraph explaining how this particular shaming behavior is the direct result of patriarchal, misogynistic men.

Yes, that's right. All of the above are behaviors women do to each other, yet men are somehow to blame.

A perfect example: I was reading an article about women that delayed marriage and kids in favor of a career. It's a topic I've discussed at length because we make the "you can have it all" lifestyle seem  a lot easier than it really is. Still, a lot of women make that choice. And they get a lot of shit for that decision. In fact, that "shit" is considered the main component of the "glass ceiling" that prevents women from reaching the upper echelons of the corporate ladder. 

Until recently, I bought into the idea that the glass ceiling was created and maintained by high-status men that wanted to protect their "good 'ole boys' club" environment. When I started actually researching the topic, I was having a hard time finding these men. Without exception, every man I talked to welcomed women with open arms. The men understood setting an arbitrary barrier (you can't do this because you have a vagina) prevented the best people from assuming the most important positions, which is a policy that's bad for business. In short, the glass ceiling isn't a construct maintained by men.

The glass ceiling is a construct maintained by women. While it was impossible to find a man that wanted to sabotage a woman's success, it was ridiculously easy to find women that were willing and able to sabotage their fellow women. This sabotage almost always took the form of shaming behavior. The higher a woman climbed the ladder of success, the more other women tried to drag her back down. And their methods were nothing short of cruel. When men fight, we have a code most of us follow. We fight to move up our social ladder, and all men intuitively understand the idea of self-preservation. We'll hurt each other, but the injuries aren't lethal (literally and figuratively.) Women? You don't seem to have that preservation instinct, and it really comes out in the ferociousness of shaming behaviors. 

Listen up, ladies. You need to get your shit together. Stop treating each other like horse shit. More importantly, stop blaming my gender for your fuck-upedness. Men don't care if you're fat. Men don't care if your roots are showing. Men don't care if your belt doesn't exactly match your shoes. Men don't care which brand of jogging stroller you bought. Men don't care if you decided to climb the corporate ladder instead of pushing out a half-dozen babies. And slut shaming? Boob shaming? Bisexual shaming? Do you women really expect anyone to believe MEN are responsible for shaming those behaviors? Really? C'mon, people aren't that stupid.

It's time to stop this mental judo and blaming this dumbass shaming bullshit on men. First, we've spent decades vilifying masculinity presumably because masculinity is responsible for female oppression. That's given our society free reign to attack masculinity at every possible opportunity, and us men are really suffering as a result.

Second, you're sabotaging our own progress. I want to live in a world where we have true gender equality where all of us have the same opportunity regardless of the presence or absence of a vagina. I think men, given our willingness to embrace the emasculating beta mindset, have more than proven we're willing to make a huge sacrifice in for gender equality. 

Ladies? It's your turn to man up. If you want gender equality, stop fucking shaming each other! Things like "mommy wars" is not only immature and illogical, but it hurts all of us. Every time you insult a fellow woman, you're tightening your own shackles. 

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Why We Teach Boys Not To Cry

I recently got into an argument with a male friend about the topic of boys and crying. He was arguing the moniker "boys don't cry" needs to be abandoned, and his argument was based on the belief that women desperately want men that aren't afraid to show their sensitive side. Naturally, I disagreed.

First, the display of emotion conveys weakness. Throughout our history, men have served as protectors from outside threats. The stronger the perceived strength of any given tribe, the less likely rival tribes would raid, pillage provisions, rape the women, and enslave the children. If even one member of the tribe's protective class showed weakness, the likelihood of an attack would increase, and casualties would result.

This is less of an issue today given we don't have all that many rival gangs at the perimeter of our tribe's lands (unless you're a member of law enforcement or the military... cops and infantry are discouraged from sobbing in the presence of the enemy.) However, men are still judged and ranked based on their ability to protect and produce, and visible weakness does reduce a modern male's status relative to other men. Sorry beta males, but that's the price of androgyny. 

Second, women are not aroused by weak men. Women make the same attribution other men make. Crying conveys weakness. In fact, I would say the "women love sensitive guys" lie is among the most damaging gender-based beliefs we've spread in my generation. But how could this be? After all, this lie is repeated everywhere. 

Not hot.

If you recall our lesson on hypergamy, women want men that are alphas (who are decidedly NOT weak) and beta providers, ideally in the same package. The problem with a crybaby male is they are the antithesis of the alpha, and the alpha is what turns women on. If a man is willing to cry in front of a woman, that's a powerful indicator he has little or no alpha traits. He may be a great provider, but he's not going to arouse her beyond the honeymoon phase of the relationship. The relationship is pretty doomed to be just another notch in her serial monogamy headboard.

I have come across several women that insist they find men that cry in their presence "sexy", but every one of these women are in their mid-thirties, have never been married, and routinely lament about the "lack of good men out there." Some of them may have been this woman, if you catch my drift.

There ARE exceptions to this rule, but they're very far and few between. Think "death of a loved one", "your team just won the championship", or "the end of Old Yeller."

So We're Just Supposed to Bury Our Emotions?

Absolutely not. 

In my last post, I wrote about how and why masculinity has been actively and passively extinguished in our modern society. One of the greatest travesties of this process has been the systematic destruction of the male-exclusive spaces. Men simply do not have opportunities to congregate with other male friends in an environment that's free from female influence. In many cases, this is a result of guys allowing their wives or girlfriends to tag along (she's just one of the guys.) In other cases, women have actually forced their way into male-only spaces via the judicial system under the guide of gender equality.

While that seems like a virtuous outcome, it robs men of the one place they were free to actually share their emotions - among their male tribe members. 

Men have just as much range and potential for emotional expression as women, we're just taught to suppress those emotions when conditions warrant. Since expressing emotion in the presence of women reduces the male's attractiveness, we're more or less relegated to male-only environments. That's the same reason males can't just share their emotions with their wives and girlfriends... it makes them appear weak and unattractive. 

The obvious solution - create a renaissance of male-only spaces so we have an emotional outlet. This is a major goal of my San Diego Man Camp project. While it's still in the planning stages and exists only as a Facebook group, the goal is to make an actual live group that will meet weekly here in Southern California. 

This man-space issue is so very critical because, as most beta males would agree, many modern males are completely isolated from other males. I addressed part of this problem in No Bone Zone; both men and women today have the soul mate "you complete me" mentality. We believe our wives and girlfriends should be our best friends, so we let most of our male friendships fall by the wayside. 

This has certainly been the case with me. The number of close friends I have has steadily dwindled over the years. I have quite a few casual male acquaintances, many of which I would consider friends. But good friends that I can share emotions with? That's a very, very small number. I want that to change.

Conclusion

Historically, we taught boys to avoid crying in the midst of the enemy to avoid appearing weak. We taught boys to avoid crying in front of girls because it made us less attractive. Boys were taught to control their emotions and remain stoic until an opportunity arose for them to release the emotions in the presence of other men of their tribe. That is the reason male-only spaces are critically important. That's the primary reason I'm motivated to create my own male-only space.

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Why Feminists Want to Kill Masculinity

“If men can’t figure out what kind of future they want, there are plenty of people who are ready to determine what kind of future they’ll get.
They’ll get a decorated cage.
They’ll get a Fleshlight®, a laptop, a gaming console, a cubicle and a prescription drip.
They’ll get some exciting new gadgets.
They’ll get something that feels a little bit like being a man.
Women will continue to mock them, and they’ll deserve it.”
- Jack Donovan, The Way of Men

Fun title, huh? My recent foray into exploring gender roles has led to some interesting places. None has been more interesting that attempting to answer the question of "why do feminists hate masculinity?" along with the logical follow-up of "Why are feminists trying to kill masculinity?" 

For a long time, I've held the belief that our modern world driven by feminism isn't so much a linear progression from oppressive misogyny to gender-equal androgyny, but rather part of a natural cycle of peaceful civilization and chaotic anarchy that has ebbed and flowed throughout our history. The more "civilized" we become, the less need there is for masculinity to protect the tribe. In times of war, famine, drought, disease, natural disasters, or any other condition that threatens the tribe's safety or access to required resources, men were expected to sacrifice their lives for the tribe. When men talk about “manning up” or “taking responsibility”, they're really saying “be willing to die to protect the tribe.”

Since masculinity, at it's heart (and contrary to what modern society says), is about violence and aggression, it's dangerous to civilization in times of peace and prosperity. When masculinity is no longer needed, it fades as the dominant gender role and is replaced by a blurring of gender roles into a feminine-directed androgyny. Given we live in the most resource-rich era in the history of humanity, this is precisely what is happening today. With women passing men in education and the professional world, women don't even need men to provide today.

It's important to accept that this “destruction” of masculinity isn't done for nefarious reasons. It's not a secretive conspiracy orchestrated by a committee of man-hating women in a deep underground bunker under the Macy's headquarters. The move to extinguish masculinity is the exact same mechanism women will use when they attempt to “tame” a bad boy. The goal is to eliminate the bad characteristics that cause the bad boy to be a shitty partner and co-parent and reinforce that behaviors that lead to successful relationships (and family units.) Our species requires this process to happen to survive from generation to generation.

It's futile to try to exert that masculinity in the absence of a real threat, which presents a problem for the modern male. We probably don't have to force the issue, though. If we accept the Strauss-Howe generational theory, we've recently passed the peak in feminine-directed androgyny and and slowly advancing to males and females embracing gender roles to a greater degree than we have since the 1950's. The last few generations of women (and many men) placed the blame for female oppression squarely on masculinity.

Top of wave = focus on feminine imperative
Bottom of wave = focus on masculine imperative

That attribution has resulted in an aggressive vilification of all things “manly”, including drugging boys with ADHD stimulants, imprisoning a ridiculously high ratio of males, eliminating male-only spaces, presenting males as bumbling, incompetent idiots in popular media, and so on. The last few generations haven't been too good at understanding social dynamics or the fundamentals of human behavior. The millenials could be our level-headed saviors. They've fully embraced the concept of gender equality and also realized they can explore masculine and feminine gender roles without endangering that equality.

It's probably a moot point, though. I would contend masculinity also doesn't need “rescuing” because it's hard-wired in almost every male in the world. When the shit hits the fan, most males have little or no problem protecting their loved ones or doing what is necessary to secure necessary resources. If we were to experience a natural disaster, financial meltdown, or other such threat to our peace and security, masculinity will be there. It might be a little rusty, but we adapt quickly.

Because of these two dynamics, I resoundingly reject a few of the more common “solutions” people propose. Some want to keep doing what we're doing by forcing androgyny and eliminating masculinity as if it were an infectious disease. This is what the majority of us do today, which has resulted in my previous posts about the plight of the modern beta male. This will never work for one simple reason – women are really aroused by masculine behaviors. No matter how much we try to “metrosexual-up” men, the manly men will continue to attract the most (and best) women.

Others want to return to the “good 'ole days”, most commonly the 1950's. First, that's not possible because we have a radically-different society today, and rolling back the clock would mean we give up many of the social freedoms we've achieved. For men in particular, this means abandoning a lot of the freedom of self-determination we've earned. I'm pretty much a stay-at-home dad. I love that I have that option and it's more or less accepted by society. While I don't necessarily need society's approval, there are plenty of men out there that thoroughly enjoy the freedom from masculinity but would not be able to do so if they were socially rejected.

Finally, some people want to force masculinity into our modern world. Since masculinity peaks with chaos and danger, this route basically champions the “Fight Club” approach of destroying our modern world to return to conditions where masculinity is not only celebrated but required. While this approach seems appealing, I do not want to sacrifice our modern world. I like social media too much.

So what do men do in the meantime while we wait for the ebb and flow to return masculinity to equal status with femininity?

We prepare.

Men still have the drive to seek out risk and adventure. At some point, for some of us, TV, video games, and cheering for our favorite hockey team just doesn't provide enough stimulation. Ultrarunning gave me a taste of that and mma fighting clinched it. We have a deep, instinctual need to express our masculinity. I've learned very few if any women really understand (or even try to understand) this deep, primal drive. The more we express it in authentic experiences, the more alive we feel. Stepping into that cage was an experience like no other. If you've ever experienced a flow state while doing something you love, imagine that paired with having kinky monkey sex with an enthusiastic Kate Upton after doing a few lines of coke while listening to Rage Against the Machine live. It was that amazing. It was the actualization of that masculinity that had been locked away for my entire life.

The problem - society really does not want us to express or indulge in those pursuits. However, that's kind of the great thing about masculinity... we don't need permission. We don't need to appease gatekeepers by watering down our experiences. We DO, however, have to understand that masculinity is repressed in times of peace and prosperity because it's inherently dangerous. Masculinity, in it's raw form, is all about creating groups of “us” (the tribe) and “them” (everyone that's not part of the tribe.) Before a man can protect, he has to define the enemy.

This in-group/ out-group bias is a fundamental element of the “ism” concepts (like racism.) This tends to destabilize “civilized” society because anyone unknown becomes an enemy (think conservative Christians hatin' on gays) to be protected against. In our modern world, this is even more problematic because we have so many multinational corporations with a global capitalist agenda. In-fighting between groups means people are not buying consumer goods, which means less profits. In other words, corporations like GM, Monsanto, Microsoft, Walmart, BP, Samsung, and Apple have a vested interest in peace, and masculinity can be a threat to that peace.

So how do we overcome these issues?

The secret that I figured out, which is confirmed by observing adoring ladies fawning over alpha males, is that as much as society puts up a facade of hating masculinity, society secretly *loves* masculinity. No matter how civilized we become, there's always that scary unknown lurking at the periphery of our cushy lives. Society NEEDS men more than men need society, and the power in every relationship resides in the person that needs the other the least. Once we really internalize that belief, we break free of society's attempts to shackle our masculinity. Society can tell us masculinity is bad, outdated, or a tool of female oppression, but society's actions speak louder than society's words.

We may not need society's permission to indulge our masculine side, but we do have to either follow society's rules or fly under society's radar. With that in mind, we have to figure out exactly what behaviors we're missing and would like to reintroduce into our lives. We also have to figure out what masculine values or beliefs (like a code of honor, rites of passage from boyhood to manhood, the development of male-only places, etc.) we'll adopt. For example, being driven to be the best version of yourself you can possibly be is an excellent masculine trait that's entirely applicable to our modern society. Getting pissed and killing a random dude because he didn't use his turn signal... not so adaptive today.

Once we figure out what we want to believe and do, we need to make an actionable plan. This is what I've been working on doing for the last few weeks. Part of this involves getting an accurate "lay of the land" by understanding what really motivates women. As of right now, I'm still researching and holding discussions in the San Diego Man Camp Facebook group (join if interested.) I have a great deal of hope for this group, mostly because I've managed to identify many of the variables that our society loves and hates about masculinity, tagged the major gatekeepers that will ruthlessly attack any expression of masculine traits, and found enough like-minded men that are sick and tired of feeling completely lost. As it turns out, most men do not like their role in life and desperately want to find a way to free that buried masculinity. On a primal, instinctual level, we know this is what we're missing in our lives. We just need a road map. I'm making that road map.

It seems appropriate to end with another Jack Donovan quote:

“Men cannot be men—much less good or heroic men—unless their actions have meaningful consequences to people they truly care about. Strength requires an opposing force, courage requires risk, mastery requires hard work, honor requires accountability to other men. Without these things, we are little more than boys playing at being men, and there is no weekend retreat or mantra or half-assed rite of passage that can change that. A rite of passage must reflect a real change in status and responsibility for it to be anything more than theater. No reimagined manhood of convenience can hold its head high so long as the earth remains the tomb of our ancestors”

- Jack Donovan, The Way of Men

Hacking Ovulation: Make Aunt Flow Your Ally, Men

Pretty much every dude is familiar with the female menstural cycle. Most men know women have periods about once every month or so. That's about as far as most of us get in understanding female fertility. That's too bad, because learning to hack your wife or girlfriend's (or random women you're trying to pick up) menstrual cycle can dramatically improve your relationship. Before we get to that...

Very Brief Explanation of Ovulation

For our purposes, all you really need to know about ovulation is the timing. Women ovulate (when an unfertilized egg is released from one of her ovaries) about fourteen days before they begin their period. If a woman has sex a few days before to a few days after ovulation, she can get pregnant. The actual window when the egg is viable is actually less than a day, but sperm can be viable inside a woman for days. If you want a much more detailed explanation, check this out. 

Charting Ovulation

So how do you know when a woman is ovulating? I recommend doing this in secret, though open-minded women would probably be on board with this project. Anyway, here are a few methods:

• Use a calendar. Start marking the first day of her period on a calendar. After a few months, add up the days between each mark and average them. This is the average length of her menstrual cycle. Once you have an average, calculate when her next period will start. She will ovulate about 14 days before that future date. This is the easiest method. If she has a regular cycle, use this method.

• Basal body temperature. When a woman ovulates, her body temperature increases about a half of a degree. Couples that are having trouble conceiving routinely chart the woman's body temperate to maximize the return on sex. To use this method, I recommend buying an infrared no-touch thermometer, then take her temperature on the same body part at the same time every morning. If you want to ramp up the creepy factor, do this while she's sleeping. Chart this temperature. I recommend using the same calendar from above; the data can be used to increase the reliability of the estimate.

• Cervical mucus. A woman's cervix generates mucus that changes based on how close she is to ovulation. I highly doubt you have to go to this length, but it's useful nonetheless. About a week after her period, her cervix will start producing a thick white mucus. As ovulation nears, the mucus becomes clear and a little sticky... sort of like egg whites. That change in color and consistency is a relaibale indicator of ovulation.

• Watch her behaviors. Women that are ovulating tend to exhibit observable behaviors which are motivated by hormones. The purpose of the behaviors are to attract sex because, well, that's kinda the point of ovulation. When women are fertile, they generally act more feminine. This inclused more revealing clothing (interestingly, this appears to allow them to out-compete other women, not necessarily attract men), walking with more of a sexy sway, talks with a slightly higher voice, exhibits more flirty behaviors, has a greater interest in social activities, and she releases pheromones that release testosterone in men (makes us horny.)

• Watch your own behaviors. Us men actually have a sophisticated response system to female ovulation, it just occurs unconsciously. If our woman is ovulating, we engage in "mate guarding" behaviors like holding hands, adopting protective body language, staying closer in public, staring down other males, etc. If we're really self-aware, we can usually detect these very subtle urges in ourselves. 

Sociobiology

If you read through my entire "Women, Explained" series, you're familiar with the role of sociobiology in dictating our mating behaviors. If not, here's a brief primer. Women have a dual sexual strategy I describe in the hypergamy post. They want an attractive, dominant alpha male for his sperm contribution (produces healthy kids) and they want a committed, supportive beta male for security and provisioning. Ideally, they find this combo in one guy. That doesn't happen often, though.

Because of that, nature has a funny way of making sure our species survives. When she's fertile, women crave masculine "manly" men (alphas) for their sperm. When she's not, she prefers the company of a beta male to help her and her children survive. Based on the nature of female desire, this sets up a situation where women's sex drive fluctuates with her menstrural cycle. She gets horny (usually on par with what us dudes experience 24/7) around ovulation, especially in the presence of alphas. This is when she's most likely to have advertising sex. The rest of the month she's significantly less aroused and far more likely to have maintenance sex. 

In our not so distant past (or sometimes even today), this meant women were committing to the best provider they could attract based on their sexual market value, but also having sex with the most attractive male they could attract based on their SMV. If these were different men, she'd likely give birth to the alpha's kid and the beta male would raise it (believing it's his own.)

How to Hack Ovulation to Improve Your Relationship

Okay, so how can this weird feature of ovulation be used to improve your relationship? It's pretty easy - just display strong alpha traits in the days leading up to ovulation, then kick back and beta it up the rest of the time. 

The more convincing you can play the alpha role, the more pronounced her arousal should be. I would recommend starting four or five days before ovulation, be an alpha whenever you're in her presence, and keep it up for about four or five days afterward. 

The Alpha Test

A lot of guys have asked me "how do I know if I'm an alpha or a beta?" There's a fun little test that can tell you exactly where you stand, at least in the eyes of your significant other. If she initiates sex enthusiastically around the time of ovulation, odds are good she sees you as her alpha. If you initiate and she responds enthusiastically, you're still in pretty good standing. However, if she avoids you when she's ovulating, you're in trouble. It means a) she does not see you as her alpha and is not sexually aroused by you (meaning you probably need to change), and b) odds are good she'll be prone to being seduced (or seducing herself) other alpha males. If she's dressing in that slinky dress with matching bra and panties for the "girls' night out dancing", that's a really, really bad sign.

The Pill

Birth control pills deserve special mention here. If your woman is on the pill, this entire post is probably invalid. We don't fully understand this effect yet, but women on the pill do not always follow this same set of rules because women typically do not ovulate. The pill, regardless of the brand and composition, more or less mimics pregnancy. In the absence of hormones that cause her to crave alphas when ovulating, women probably prefer betas all the time. 

This could explain the rise of the beta male since the development of oral contraceptives. Us men are nothing if not efficient. The sexual marketplace, post-oral contraceptives, demands more betas. We adjust our behaviors to make up for this demand by becoming more beta.

Of course, the problem with this is women are not really aroused by betas and that tends to deep-six relationships after a few years. I like flirting with this hypothesis because we typically blame the explosion of betas on our society on all kinds of social factors from feminism to capitalism. The fact that a tiny pill could throw our entire mating strategy off kilter amuses me. 

Conclusion

Understanding and hacking female ovulation is a very simple method to ramp up the passion in your relationship. In fact, mastering this technique is probably the easiest way to alternate between passion and intimacy. Ovulation can also be used to assess your own "alphaness." Finally, the development of oral contraceptives may have been at least partly responsible for our current "excess beta male" problem.

What do you think? If you're a dude, would you use this methodology? If you're female, what do you think? Do you notice this effect, or is it like "mate guarding" and occur unconsciously? Leave a comment!

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Beta Males, Explained: Part Three - The Societal Impact of the Invasive Species We Call the Beta Male

In the first section of this series, I covered my operational definitions of alpha and beta males. In the second part of the series, I covered the antecedents of the beta male personality type and discussed the typical life path for beta males. In this section, I discuss a few of the societal impacts that have been caused by the proliferation of the beta male. We'll begin to see the beta male is a surprisingly disruptive force that basically acts like an invasive species encroaching on an ecosystem - it kills some things and causes others to grow unchecked. 

How Betas Ruin Society

One of my favorite pass times involves contemplating the societal effects of various movements, ideas, or constructs. The rise of the beta male is no exception. Back in the day, most men were alphas. Women were sexually attracted to these men. The women would choose the highest value male their own value could attract. They would then spend the rest of their lives "fighting" a perpetual battle. He would exert his alpha-ness (supplied passion to the relationship); she would attempt to tame that alpha-ness (supplied intimacy to the relationship.) The net effect was a natural cycling of passion and intimacy, which kept the couple happy indefinitely. The system wasn't infallible, but it did work more than it didn't.  

Today, there are far fewer alpha males. Some women, usually the highest-value women (young, attractive, smart, funny, etc.), can attract these men which are then "tamed" just like grandma and grandpa's relationship. The rest of the women have to settle for some version of a beta. Because betas cannot keep women interested beyond about a year or so, all sorts of weird societal trends emerge. I'm going to avoid attaching a moral judgement to any of these, but some do create positive outcomes while others create negative outcomes.

Gave rise to serial monogamy. Serial monogamy, where we move from one monogamous relationship to the next, developed because beta males are incapable of injecting passion into a relationship. That causes the quality and quantity of sex to decrease substantially after the first year or two, which ultimately undermines the relationship. So we end it. Then we look for another. This cycle repeats itself about every six to eight years. 

Screw career women by giving false hope about the marketplace. For decades, we've been telling women they can "have it all", which means they can go to college and start a career and delay getting married and starting a family. In many cases, we encourage women to wait as late as their late-30's before they settle down. We DON'T tell women that the market for "high-value" men dries up pretty quickly. Any alpha on the market is going to receive A LOT of female attention, and those males are going to choose the highest value female available... which is going to be somewhere around the age of 23-25. All that's left for the remaining women are younger beta males still looking for their soul mate or older beta males that have recently divorced.

The "you can have it all" fantasy...

These males, because they believe women love to be placed on a pedestal, will usually use a shotgun approach where they shower several women with attention and attempt to prove their willingness to defer to them in hopes one will bite. This is most commonly seen when women post a selfie on social media and scores of dudes comment on "how pretty she looks." The woman, who may be relatively low-value, develops an inflated sense of her own worth. Her inflated value causes her to believe she can land a high value male. So she hits the dating scene and quickly learns all those males that were giving her attention are actually spineless, vagina-drying betas. In the unlikely event she manages to land an alpha for a one-night stand, he has no intention of committing because he has better options. She's forced to either settle for a beta (who she'll end up divorcing in a few years anyway) or continue playing the dating game in a market that gets worse and worse with each passing year. She's a victim of supply and demand. Specifically, she's a victim of a market saturated by beta males that compulsively boosted her self-confidence which gave her an unrealistic perception of the sexual marketplace.

The "you can have it all" reality.

It's harder to tame today's alphas. The more males choose to play the beta role, the more valuable alpha males become. When women say "where have all the good men gone?", they're not talking about betas (as beta males would like to believe.) They're talking about alphas. Because alpha value is inflated, the competition for their affection is stiff. If a woman manages to land an alpha, he has to work harder to keep him interested. He will receive a lot of female attention, so she has to continually prove her worth to him. This instability is just like the instability that kept grandma and grandpa together, only it's even more powerful. If you see one of these couples today, you'll know it. They ooze happiness and contentment. It's such a contrast from every other couple with the frumpy, naggy wife and the fat, pussy-whipped husband, you can't help but to notice. The alpha is the envy of many women, especially those that begin to realize they've dramatically overestimated to market of available alpha males. The woman in this relationship is the envy of every beta male because, quite frankly, she maintains that sexiness she had at the very beginning of the relationship. In these couples, the honeymoon slowed down but never really died.

Anyway, that alpha is harder to tame because alphas realize they're unicorns. They know they're sharks swimming in an ocean of beta seals. They're not restrained by common beta thought processes like "she's out of my league" or "I'd never have a chance with her." To the alpha, every woman is in his league regardless of age, attractiveness, or relationship status. The only women that are really unobtainable are those in relationships with fellow alphas. Those women have maximized hypergamy and, unless their alpha is a low-value alpha, realized they're far better off than the women left fighting over betas. The women that land an alpha keep them with the best tool in their toolbox: A steady diet of advertising sex. 

Increases teen and out-of-wedlock pregnancies. The increase in beta males has had a weird effect on what could best be described as "hookup culture." There are basically a small number of alpha men that spend their high school, college, and 20's getting all the women they can handle. Because they're competing with beta men, it's easy pickings. This also means alphas are less likely to commit to long-term relationships and marriage due to the allure of novel pussy. These were the men that women used to "land" in their late teens to early 20's. Women could land beta males at this stage, but since their own value is high, they're not going to commit to a low value male. Since women are told they can have it all, they're not about to cash out with a beta when they believe they can land an alpha right after they take care of college and career-building. 

This trend results in a lot of hookups between alphas and younger women. That results in the occasional accidental pregnancy, or the occasional "accidental" pregnancy intended to entrap an alpha in the hopes of taming him (which is why you use condoms, boys.) Either way, babies are being conceived outside of a committed relationship. Some couples may stay together; many do not. The net result is a lot of single mothers and broken homes.

Increases divorce rate, single motherhood, welfare, etc. This is sort of tied to the last point, but expands a little bit. Because beta males cannot maintain successful relationships beyond a few years, we see significant increases in divorces. This results in a lot of household incomes being split in half forcing the entire family closer to poverty, which increases the burden on social services. 

Makes us fat. There's a curiously predictable trend I've noticed. Most single people keep themselves in pretty good shape. That makes sense; fitness is attractive to both sexes. I've also noticed couples where the male is an alpha tend to stay in pretty good shape. That makes sense; part of that passion and intimacy ebb and flow is due to both people having to continually "qualify" for each other (prove they're better than other options out there.) I've also noticed relationships where the male is a beta tend to let themselves go. A lot. Both people will start the relationship relatively fit. They go through the honeymoon period as-is. Once that ends, they both start gaining weight, paying less attention to grooming, dress worse, and generally just become messes. This makes logical sense because the woman isn't being sexually aroused by her beta male mate and not initiating sex, so the male eventually gives in to the laziness of becoming a couch potato. Because his value is sinking, she doesn't have to worry about other women stealing him away, thus all sex is maintenance sex. She's doing it out of duty, not genuine desire. She lets herself go because she doesn't have to stay fit to hold his attention. This effect is reinforced because, due to his beta-ness, he continues to shower her with positive attention. He's inadvertently reinforcing her downward-trending attractiveness.

This trend always continues until a breaking point which occurs when one or both people mentally and emotionally throw in the towel. One of the clearest signs a relationship is about to end is when one member (more often the woman) suddenly hits the gym and starts working on themselves. They've realized they've let themselves go and are prepping to hit the market.

Helps our economy. Part of the beta male belief system is that a woman's affection can be bought. It's the "if I buy her flowers, dinner, a movie, a diamond tennis bracelet, this card from Hallmark, this giant stuffed teddy bear, and this raspberry Slushie, she'll give me sex. Yes, that's a supreme irony of the beta male "I'm doing this for social justice" mindset - they're attempting to prove a woman is their equal by essentially treating her like a prostitute. 

It doesn't work.

Female desire, under no circumstance, can be bought. Or negotiated. This doesn't stop the beta male from trying, however. Betas will spend a ridiculous amount of cash on a woman in an attempt to prove his worthiness. In essence, he's appealing to the provisioning and security side of her innate hypergamy. The beta male will usually combine this with the aforementioned "pedestal" behaviors. The net result is a boost to capitalism.

Female "type" fetishes increase. Beta men chronically underestimate their value on the sexual market, even for their low-value beta status. A guy that might be a "7" if he were an alpha may be a "5" as a beta, but he has so little confidence in himself he considers himself to be a "3." Worse, he's going to overvalue every woman he meets (which is a natural function of placing women on pedestals.) A woman that may have been a "3" herself will be rated as a "6" to him. The result is beta males never approach women they deem "out of their league", even in cases where the guy is clearly higher value than the woman. The beta that's actually a "5" (and could be a "7" if he dropped the beta act) would be intimidated by a woman he believes is a "6" that's really a "3." 

This has all sorts of weird effects, including beta men creating fetishes for low-value women. The best example of this would be "MILFs" (Moms I'd Like to Fuck), which are also known as "cougars." Other examples could include BBWs, amputees, grannies, etc. All of these groups are becoming more popular because beta males believe these are the women that are "in their league." As such, they become the object of their fantasies.

"I haven't cum this hard since D-Day!"

The porn industry explodes. Beta males aren't eunuchs. They have just as much (or almost as much) testosterone flowing through their veins as their alpha brethren. The difference? Alphas are satisfying their needs with women. Betas are using their hand. Or a Fleshlight. The result is a shit-ton of Internet sites and bandwidth dedicated to porn. The adult entertainment industry has become one of the most powerful commercial powerhouses in our modern world thanks almost entirely to beta males' inability to score. Aside from that brief sliver of time during the honeymoon phase of their relationships when they're getting as much ass as their alpha male cohorts, beta males IN relationships watch porn and masturbate as much as beta males NOT in relationships. 

Gave rise to polyamory and the "hot wife" phenomenon. Polyamory is a type of consensual nonmonogamy where the members of a relationship are free to enter intimate relationships with other people. Polyamory was one of the types of social sexuality I discussed in No Bone Zone. "Hotwifing" is a form of consensual nonmonogamy where only the wife has sex with other men. Either way, both have experienced a substantial increase in popularity over the last few decades partly because of the proliferation of beta males. The fundamental problem with beta male-based relationships is the inability of the male to sexually arouse his partner. Polyamory circumvents this problem in two ways - it adds sexual novelty to the mix (two beta males can be played off each other to sort of create the same desire as one alpha) and it adds more potential provisioning to satisfy the security aspect to a woman's hypergamy drive. Adding additional women also gives the beta male novelty, which can be used to sort of create a honeymoon period that lasts longer than regular pair-bonding. 

Hotwifing solves the beta male problem in another way - it allows a woman to indulge in hot sex with alphas while still keeping her beta man for security and provisioning. This has a net effect of keeping her satisfied and allowing him to get some post "I just fucked an alpha" exciting sex. 

Women become the voice of what men want. Back in the day, men displayed the characteristics they knew turned women on, and women displayed characteristics they knew turned men on. At some point, however, we fell into a pattern where the beta male started asking women what they wanted. Women, not always conscious of the dual nature of their hypergamy, responded that women wanted nice, respectful men. The beta males took that to the extreme and started embracing weakness, vulnerability, and passivity as the traits "women really want." 

That shift has caused women to begin defining what men want in a woman, and that hasn't gone well. No other area has been affected quite like body image. Specifically, women have come to believe that men prefer a far thinner "ideal" than they really do, which has led to an explosion of eating disorders. Women believe men prefer thin women, so they strive to reach that ideal. Men generally do find thinner women more attractive than heavier women, but there's a very definite point of diminishing returns. Far too many women go wayyyy past that point.

"Every male in history is repulsed by me, yet I blame men for
my unrealistic perception of what men want."

Another example is slut-shaming. Generally speaking, men love women that love sex. In other words, men love sluts. Women, however, do not. Back in the day, women would call a woman a slut in an attempt to disqualify a woman as a potential mate ("you don't want to date her, she's a slut. She'll cheat on you the first chance she gets.") That held considerable weight before serial monogamy and consensual nonmonogamy became more popular. Now the only dudes that really care about female purity are the betas looking for that special soul mate. Even then, they'll gladly overlook a party-girl past if they're sufficiently convinced the woman will appreciate his willingness to sacrifice his dignity and self-respect for her love. 

The quality of men decreases substantially. Back in the day, men were ambitious. They had goals, and they worked their asses off to reach those goals. They were focused on becoming the best man they could be. They knew that determination toward something better was irresistible to women, so that's how they attracted a mate. That mate became an accessory to their life.

Today, almost all men make women the focus of their lives, not an external goal. The result: Guys don't accomplish nearly as much. They're not driven to succeed in business, conquer nations, invent the next revolutionary hair-removal system, or even plug away at a blue-collar job until retirement. The focus on supporting women in an attempt to gain their affection (aka "pussy") could be successful, but beta males have no idea what actually turns women on. 

The net result is a growing pool of men that really don't have a lot to offer. we don't do as well in school as we used to, we don't graduate college as often as we used to, we don't make as much money as we used to, etc. When women say "where have all the good men gone?", that's not just because they've overestimated their value on the open market - men actually are decreasing in quality.

Male fraternal organizations disappeared. We used to have quite a few male-only places where men could go to interact with other men. They could discuss their careers, family life, and relationship issues without female interference. Over time, more and more beta males, under the guise of "gender equality", started allowing women into these places. Only it wasn't about gender equality. It was a misguided attempt to get laid. Men allow women into men-only places because they believe women will appreciate the gesture and repay with sex. Also, it gives beta men another opportunity to try to unlock the supposed secrets to turning a woman on. 

This disappearance of male fraternal organizations (aka "man spaces") further exasperated the beta male problem because it eliminated the only real opportunity for men to discuss what actually DOES turn women on. 

Creates pickup artist culture. There have always been men that were "players." Their only interest was hooking up with as many women as possible. These were the untamable alpha males of yesteryear. It was a tough gig, though. They had to prey on younger unattached women, unhappily married women that couldn't land an alpha (yes, betas have always been around), or women that were divorcees or widows (significant during times of war.) 

Oh, how times have changed. First, there are A LOT more unattached younger women given the average age of marriage has increased from around 19 to the late 20's. Second, there are a lot less alpha competitors. Third, there are a lot more women in unhappy marriages to beta males. Fourth, there are a lot more divorced women. Finally, there are a lot more women in their 30's that are getting increasingly more desperate because they failed to land an alpha back when they were at their peak value. 

All of these dynamics lead to a pickup artist's wet dream. A marginally attractive guy with even a minimal amount of confidence and decent style, with very little effort, can easily get all the pussy he can handle. It's like a 'roided-up Barry Bonds hitting homers off a 12 year old on a Little League field. There's an ample supply of young, fun, sexually-adventurous college-age girls looking for random hookups. There's an ample supply of independent, intelligent, sexy young professional women looking for not-so-serious physical relationships. There's an ample supply of unhappily married desperate-to-please MILFs looking for some discreet no strings attached flings. There's an ample supply of recently-divorced gym rat women desperate to relive their party girl years. And that's just the under-40 pool. 

It's no surprise pickup artistry is becoming more and more popular. Sadly for the beta male, his outrage and disgust over the actions of the pickup artist prevents him from seeing the unfortunate truth - the pickup artist "gets" women a thousand times more than he will ever hope. 

Conclusion

The proliferation of the beta male has and continues to radically change our society. For women, this means the pool of quality men is forever shrinking which forces women to settle far more than they would have in the past. That "settling" for a beta almost always results in a relationship that erodes into a nearly-sexless "roommate" situation that eventually ends in divorce. For men, this means we have the choice to be a replaceable, mostly insignificant bit player in the lives of women resulting in a bitter, resentful, lonely end OR embrace our alphaness and either bury ourselves in readily-available and enthusiastic vagina or settle in a mutually-fulfilling long-term relationship where we can leverage our alphaness to keep the passion alive indefinitely. 

Me? I choose the latter option. And for any men that choose the same - check out the beginning stages of my San Diego Man Camp project.

Part One, Part Two

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