Thursday, April 16, 2015

Beta Males, Explained: Part One - Defining Alpha and Beta

Since I've been discussing gender role issues, several readers have asked about the definition of "alpha" and "beta" males. Here are my operational definitions:

Alpha Male: An alpha, in the simplest of terms, is sexually-arousing to females. Some specific characteristics that almost always encompass alpha behavior include:

  • Their self is their point of focus
  • Does not need approval or permission
  • Assertive
  • Confident
  • Seeks risk and danger
  • Decisive
  • Stands out
  • Dominant
  • Welcomes criticism
  • "Expanding" body language
  • Calm
  • Indifferent
  • Speaks clearly and slowly
  • Sets trends
  • Attractive, fit, stylish look
  • Movements are slow and smooth
  • Controls emotions
  • Charismatic
  • Extroverted
  • Socially-skilled
  • Sex is recreational
  • Makes eye contact
  • Secure, not prone to jealousy or envy
  • Says no far more often than he says yes

Beta Male: A beta, in contrast to an alpha, does not arouse females. Specific beta characteristics are as follows:
  • Place others (especially their "soul mate") as the point of reference
  • Seeks approval from others
  • Defers to others
  • Avoids risk and danger 
  • Passive
  • Unsure of themselves
  • Fits in
  • Avoids confrontation
  • Sloppy, unattractive look
  • Shy
  • Vulnerable
  • Pouts and engages in other passive-aggressive behaviors
  • Indecisive
  • "Shrinking" defensive body language
  • Mumbles a lot
  • Prone to emotional outbursts
  • Cannot accept criticism without taking it personally
  • Follows trends
  • Fidgety
  • Needy
  • Introverted
  • Uses guilt and shame to manipulate others
  • Sex is used to affirm her appreciation
  • Continually asks if everything is all right
  • Develops a great deal of resentment
  • Avoids eye contact
  • Insecure, paranoid
  • Incapable of saying no

Alpha is Variable

It's important to note there's a degree of individuality with my definitions. One dude may be an alpha (arousing) to one woman but may be a beta (not arousing) to another. Same behaviors, different interpretation. Generally, the higher the value of the female, the more "alpha" a man has to be to get the juices flowing. 

Also, a man's standing can change over the course of a relationship. If a dude starts as an alpha, the woman is going to attempt to change his behaviors to make him more suitable for long-term relationships. As a general rule, dudes tend to start of more alpha, then gravitate towards being more beta the longer they're in the relationship. This is one of the major reasons the quality and quantity of sex decreases after the honeymoon period - the dude just isn't arousing as he once was. His woman continuously assesses him using shit tests with the goal of assuring herself she really did select the highest value male she could land (aka "hypergamy.")


In this first section, I shared my operational definition of alpha and beta males. I also gave a brief explanation of how and why an alpha male may change over time with different women. In the next section, I'll discuss the life cycle of the beta male. What does the beta male experience as a teen? How about as a college student? A dude approaching middle age? For older betas, it'll be a trip down memory lane. For younger betas, it'll be foreshadowing of what they can expect down the road. 



  1. All of this sounded good until you said introversion in regards to betas. You obviously don't have a clue what introversion means, I suspect you think it means being shy but it doesn't. I suggest that you check out the actual definition of the word and update your article so that it has more credibility

  2. Stand down, soldier. Don't be one of those "I'm invalidating the entire theme of your message because I disagree with a tiny detail" guys. It's a strong beta "tell."